GRIEF

Hello there dear gist partner.

How are you doing today? It is my hope that you continue to see the hand of God manifesting in your life.

Welcome to today’s gist.

Today marks one year since my father’s passing. To be very honest, I don’t even know where I am going with this but I know that I am going somewhere.

In the last year, I’ve learned some things that I’ll love to share and I hope it helps you.

First, no one can actually explain grief. No 2 people actually grieve in the same manner. There’s no blanket one-size-fits-all for how grief should manifest, so explaining grief to someone is an exercise in futility because the person’s response will be completely different. It is because of this that I believe that we should show more compassion to people who are grieving, even when they seem more dramatic than you were in their shoes. And if you’re grieving and you feel like you’re weak for your reaction, I want to tell you that you’re strong! You’re having to deal something so profound and painful and the fact that you’re reacting differently doesn’t make you weak.

Secondly, grief doesn’t have a timetable: there’s no schedule for what should happen when you’re grieving, it’s not a situation where you’ll be told: “first 3 weeks, crying; second 3 weeks, laughing hysterically” and the likes; it’s a lie. People will process loss differently and, consequently, will deal with it in different ways, there’s no schedule for how long any ‘process’ or ‘stage’ of grief should last, people will grieve as they’re able to process their loss and the best we can do is to support them and be there for them.

Finally, every grieving person needs a safe place, someone or somewhere they can be very vulnerable and know that they won’t be judged for their feelings, someone who would help them carry the burden of their intense pain and walk with them in their journey. If you’re that person, please don’t ever mock their pain or belittle their suffering, don’t add insult to injury and, like my father would say, if you can’t offer them any words of encouragement, just keep quiet and offer them the support of your silence. 

One year ago, my life was irreversibly altered. In the last year. I have seen the hand of God helping me and carrying me on the days when I couldn’t carry myself. I ask that you please keep my family, and others who are grieving, in your prayers; thank you.

Thank you for reading my very jumbled thoughts, see you when I see you.

 

Love,

Achenyo.