Blame Game

There's this principle in law called "the doctrine of Last Seen". It basically entails that in the event that a person, let's call him A, is the last person to be seen with another, let's call this one Q, or in a place, and Q gets missing or a crime happens in the place A was in, based on circumstantial evidence, A will be the most likely suspect. This seems very sensible doesn't it? but sometimes it doesn't make the kind of sense we think it does. Let me give you one small gist: one day, i went to borrow ban electric appliance from someone to use. As the owner was giving me, she told me that "the thing done dey spoil sef, e don spark like one or two times." I took it and used it; unfortunately the thing come blow for my hand, and not because I was being careless with it. Omo! immediately i informed the owner about it, she began to tell me how she had been using it "jeje" her thing and nothing happened but now now wey she give me, I don spoil am for her. Ahh! i was enraged, for my mind I'm going "no be you tell me say this thing don spark and e no good? Na just my luck say na for my hand e come pack up."

That incident got me thinking about our human need to always put the blame on someone. Believe me, I say this as someone who also knows she has the tendency to play that game too. Sometimes, when we do this, we know in our hearts that what we're doing is wrong and that person does not deserve it but when it comes to choosing who to blame between ourselves and someone else, the other person is always the safest and most appealing option. I'm learning these days to admit when something is my fault and not put unjustified blame on someone else. I'm also learning not to sit quietly when I'm being unjustly blamed for something regardless of whoever it is that is blaming me. I've observed that always putting the blame on someone, or even something, else is our way of refusing to be held accountable, born from a desire to just do as we please and get someone else to take the blame for us. But I want to hold people accountable for their actions, it therefore only makes sense that i too should be willing to be held accountable for my actions. 

So, I'm trying my best these days not to push the blame on others for my actions; some days I get it right, other days I fall back into the old pattern, but I've decided to continue to work on myself in that regard because to do otherwise is to run away from accountability and why should I do such a thing? I invite you to join me in this walk, trust me it will pay off in that you won't ruin your relationships with people because you're trying to blame them and also, a little self-truth never hurt anybody! I pray you find the courage to accept responsibility for your actions. Till next time.

Love,

Achenyo