THE LOVE LANGUAGE

 I was reading Karen Kingsbury's "Someone like you" and there was a mantra Brooke Baxter-West drilled into her children; you don't lie to those you love, and you don't love those you lie to. I've had time to think on that phrase on more than one occasion and it's brought me to the realization that truth is a universal love language –at least in my opinion. Most times you hear people say they lie to people because they love them, and sometimes it almost makes sense; you tell yourself the truth will hurt them so you decide to just tell a little "white lie" to protect them –it's something we're all familiar with, something I've done before. But when you really think about it, you'd discover that loving someone is being real with them, and there's no way you can be real with someone without being truthful to them. You'd hear people say the truth is a bitter pill to swallow but I say, like all other bitter pills, it cures you of whatever ailment you're having that necessitated the truth being told to you.

It's a constant struggle to tell the truth, sometimes I'm still tempted to not do it especially when I know that telling the person the truth will lead to a confrontation I'm not in the mood for, but I'm learning that withholding the truth is dangerous –to you and to the person you lied to. 

But as we decide to be truthful, it's important to be mindful of the manner in which you tell the said truth to the person in question. I feel there's a way you can talk to someone without without putting the person on the defensive. So your heart may be at the right place in telling someone something but the way you tell them will block the import of your message from getting to them. We can say the truth in love, and it will have more impact than if we said it with unnecessary aggression. It's something I'm still learning to do, and it's a struggle because sometimes I really just want to say it as it is and get it over with and I forget to consider the impact my words will have on the person I'm speaking to. But I'm learning these days to coat my truth in love as I speak it. 

Last last, all I'm saying is that we should make a habit of being truthful, especially to those we love –there's no rationalizing lies so don't bother, and we should be mindful of how we speak this truth so that it finds acceptance in the heart of whoever is the audience. 

Happy New Month!

Love,

Achenyo.