DEALING WITH INSECURITIES

 Hey there🖐🏾. It's been a minute, I hope you're doing well.

So, the last time we were talking about how insecurities manifest and I'd said I'll continue with how to work on these insecurities. 

The way I handle my insecurities is understanding and telling myself that these insecurities do not make you abnormal, you have these insecurities because you're human and well, we aren't perfect –only God is. You have to learn to accept yourself, flaws and all, accept your fears, your "defects" –every imperfection you have, LOVE YOURSELF! I'm not saying you shouldn't try to be better, however every effort you make towards becoming better should be from a place of self-love. Don't try to become better to love yourself, become better because you already love yourself. I've found that when I'd say "I'll be alright when abc happens" and that abc happens to, I'll now discover that I also need def to be happy and I'll eventually just keep chasing shadows, you'll never find contentment that way, you'll always be chasing the next big thing to help you love yourself, that's not dealing with your insecurities, it's letting your insecurities deal with you, and deal with you they definitely will! You can't place your validation and fulfilment on something outside of yourself and it's usually as a result of your insecurities, you have to be content with yourself, comfortable in your skin and let that spur you into being better. Don't be better to to become content, be better because you're already content with who God has made you. 

Now contentment is different from resignation. While resignation makes you stagnant, contentment in yourself and your abilities will push you to do better. For a very long time, I wasn't content, I could never live in the moment, my insecurities always prevented me from seeing the little victories and achievements God was helping me attain because my mind was completely focused on the "big wins" that'll then help be alright with and in myself, the things I'd placed in my mind to be the standard for success. I had to take time and make conscious efforts to love myself, to remind myself that I was wonderfully and fearfully made by God, am exquisite representation of God's artistry.... I took time to redirect my priorities and standard, so now when I want to do something, I don't do it to be happy. If you know Dr Chinedu Isagbah, then you'd know that for a very long time, his WhatsApp info. had the words "I am the Standard" on them and it's words that have stuck with me. I don't look to anyone, save God for what I should be like, because people's words and their definitions of what you should or shouldn't be will always leave you feeling inept. Deciding that I'm enough has helped me with my insecurities, so when the thought of "you're too fat, you're unworthy" or other such things come, I remind myself that it's the devil trying to prey on my heart. Have I stopped trying to improve on myself? NO! Now, I have a better understanding of why I should improve myself, I can now objectively take criticism without looking for a way to lash out, I'll just pick at the words for the truth and work on myself in that regard. As I've begun to love and value myself more, things have become less tedious for me. Everything I do about myself and my well-being comes from a place of self love and a new understanding of myself.

I know I've rambler a lot, going in, and probably out, of the point but I hope I've been able to help you understand more in how to handle insecurities. If you have a way you've dealt with your insecurities, please share with the rest of us. I know that it's a continuous process to surmount these insecurities and I know that with determination and God's help, we'll each rise above our private fears. 

Till the next time we meet!

Love, 

Achenyo